Spotlight Tour – The Time Series – Lily Morgan

The Time Series by Lily Morgan

Available with Kindle Unlimited
Time Eternal – Book One
 
Time Eternal is the story of Skyla Gray, a TSCAA agent in the present day, and Rei Dusan, the crown prince of the sixteenth-century Serbian Empire, who has traded his soul to the gods so he can travel through time to find his one true love, Elizabeth Magini.



The story opens with Agent Gray time-ported to an underground bank vault. Her mission is to retrieve a device, but someone else has gotten there first. More maddening is that she recognizes this man’s voice even though she cannot remember ever having met him before. Sent back to the present day by this stranger, she finds the life she knew slowly beginning to unravel…and learns that the stranger is not the only one who has been looking for her these past five centuries.



At the Last Battle, Rei Dusan lay dying alongside his father, his brothers, and his countrymen, when a handmaiden from the gods offered him a bargain: his soul and his eternal pledge to do the gods’ bidding in exchange for immortality. With his life, he will avenge his family, his country, and his beloved Elizabeth, who sacrificed her life to save his. He accepted the bargain with the gods only to later discover Elizabeth did not perish in the fire.



Will Skyla remember who she really is? What Rei meant to her—to Elizabeth? Will she accept Rei in her present life, where she is no longer a helpless young girl needing rescue from an evil Medici lord, but an ass-kicking agent fighting terrorists for a living? And how will Rei answer to the gods when they find out he has defied their orders? Will there be a happily ever after for Rei and Skyla?



Time Eternal is the first book of the Time series, which tells the story of the men and women who are part of a secret government agency, fighting not garden-variety terrorists but the gods and their enemies, who are facing off in a final showdown. Should their wars not be contained, the world will go up in flames—literally.



 

$.99 Amazon Buy Link: http://amzn.to/2eLFKOc  




Time Untamed – Book Two
 
Benjamin “Butch” Stone, a member of TSCAA Team Mu, is a former US Marine who has no family, no love except for his country, and his missions until he meets Savannah Green by chance at a bar in Germany. His attraction to her is instantaneous and combustible. They spend a gorgeous night together. When Savannah gets pregnant shortly after, he doesn’t hesitate to marry her. He thought this was his fairytale ending—a beautiful wife and rambunctious son—until a house fire, rips them away from him. The tragic news reaches him while he is in some godforsaken place, saving his country when he can’t even save his wife and young child. His heart and soul died that day.



Savannah Sabbah, also known as Savannah Green, is a part of an ancient order of assassins historians believe ceased existence in the thirteenth century. Her first assignment is to seduce a US serviceman for military secrets, but she falls hopelessly in love with her mark instead. When her father recalls her back to the family, she is ordered to destroy all evidence of her existence in her husband’s life. She defies her family’s orders and hides her son away. Yet this secret could be the end of her, her husband, and possibly the world.



Once again, TSCAA must go back in time to stop an alteration of history, to prevent a “contract to kill” on Jack Evans when he is still a boy. Jack will grow up to be the lead passenger, staging the counter attack inside UA Flight 93 on September 11, 2001. Should Butch and his team fail in protecting Jack, the present they know will be drastically different. World War III is almost guaranteed. But how can he trust the woman he loved with all his heart and soul when she deliberately deceived him, not only about who she really is but also about their son?



Will Butch and Savannah be able to overcome their distrust of each other? Will they be able to fight against their still-sizzling connection in order to remain cool-headed against her ruthless father and powerful family?













$2.99 Amazon Buy Link: http://amzn.to/2eLLhUW






 
 
Lily has spent her entire adult life working for several Fortune 500 companies, but has always dreamed about being a writer. Her first encounter with “Anna Karenina” in college was love at first read. Throughout her corporate career, Lily never truly let go of that first love and eventually garnered enough courage to try her hand at writing. And it was the most amazing and fun experience she’s had in a long, long while. As any happily-ever-after story should go, the rest is history.
 
 
 
Stalking Lily
 
 
 
 
 

 

 
 
 
 

 

Spotlight Tour – Captive’s Kiss – Sharon Kay

Title: Captive’s Kiss

Series: Watcher’s Kiss #3

Author: Sharon Kay

Genre: Adult, PNR Romance

Published: June 29, 2016

*previously published in the Gathering Darkness boxed set

It was only supposed to be one hookup. One hot night to ease the mating urge of his race’s fertile period.

But after scorching, up-against-the-wall sex in a darkened club, Tanner can’t get Saige out of his mind. And when he spots her the next day, in league with an enemy, he’s determined to uncover more about her than her delectable curves.

Saige knows Tanner is one of the good guys. And that’s why she can never see him again.

Her life has crumbled into a horrific turmoil, forced to aid criminals in kidnapping men for bloody arena fights. Held against her will, she has no hope of escape from her captors.

Determination rages through Tanner until he tracks Saige down. But rescuing her from her jailers’ sadistic whims means entering her underground hell. Posing as her victim and locked in a cell, he must find a way to save them both before he is pushed into a fight to the death.

 

Captive’s Kiss Excerpt © Sharon Kay 2016

Saige threw back the shot, savoring the burn as it flowed down her throat. If she didn’t grab that male, there were dozens of others to choose from. Her captors preferred the most dangerous predatory species. They liked Deserati demons, but they also loved Lash demons, and she was certain she’d seen a group of Watchers walk in.

She glanced around, not spotting them at the moment. Probably already in rooms with females. Dudes as big as that had ladies hanging off them like vines at this time of year. She looked to the dance floor, which was just a packed mass of bodies. It was hard to tell where one creature ended and the next one began.

Her skin tingled, responding to the groping and kissing all around her. She needed to get relief, then she could do what she needed to.

She set down the glass and squared her shoulders, ready to sidle into the mass…and found her way blocked by a solid wall of muscle and a scent that almost brought her to her knees.

Smoke and a hint of dark spice clung to him. Well over six feet tall, he had short dark hair and green eyes that already gleamed with lust as he perused her from heels to hair. His eyes locked with hers, and she froze under the weight of his stare. Need, power, danger. And interest.

“Your name?” His deep voice rumbled around her, through her. His full lower lip looked bitable and her pulse quickened. He was a Lash, her species, and he was in the same hormonal boat she was. She could tell, even though she couldn’t resist a quick peek at the bulge behind his zipper.

“Saige.” She took in his enormous biceps and shoulders and inhaled once again. He was intoxicating, dreamy, sexy, and hot as hell.

A group of males pushed to the bar behind her, jostling her, and the Lash’s arms went around her shoulders, tucking her close. Her breath hitched at the sensation of being pressed against that wide chest, and she took another greedy inhale. She rubbed her cheek on the soft black cotton of his T-shirt.

“I’m Tanner,” he said, and she felt the words vibrate from his body the same way she heard them in her ears. “Let’s go somewhere quieter.”

“Gods, yes,” she murmured, and let him lead her around the bar to the dark area of private rooms in back.

His hand gripped her hip and he allowed zero space between them as he pushed through the crowd. His fingers felt magical, each tip a spark to her need. Gods, she was so overdue for this. She’d waited too long. She might orgasm just from him touching her over her clothes.

Oh, who was she kidding, she didn’t care how it happened. It just needed to happen in the next minute or she’d combust.

Tanner. She said his name in her mind, letting the syllables roll around. So sexy and strong. She felt something hard concealed at the side of his thigh. A blade. He had to be a Watcher.

The elite warriors were the self-appointed peace enforcers of the realms. They were honorable, but could be merciless to species who took unfair advantage of less fortunate ones. They were the good guys, the white knights…but their sex drives were just as insane as everyone else’s right now.  She slid a hand around his waist, dragging it slowly down his muscular ass.

He growled and shoved open a door that had been left ajar by a fae couple who’d just left. In one fluid move, he kicked the door shut and pinned her against the wall.

“You want this, Saige?” His hands circled her biceps and slid down to her wrists, leaving a trail of goose bumps. “You want me?”

“Yes. Now.” She captured one of his big hands and brought it to her lips, sucking his first finger into her mouth.

His eyes glowed bright green and he gritted his teeth. “Fuck, woman.” His free hand went to the center zipper of her corset—who the hell had time for hooks and laces—and pulled it down.


Sharon Kay writes award-winning fiction and can never get enough reading time. She loves winter and black coffee, and is endlessly inspired to write kick-ass heroines and the men strong enough to capture their hearts. Sharon lives in the Chicago area with her husband and son, and one weekend the idea for her Lash Watchers and tough leading ladies formed in her head, refusing to stay quiet until she put pen to paper. Her characters tend to keep her up at night, as they banter, fall in love, and slay endless varieties of power-hungry demons.

Sign up for Sharon’s newsletter to keep up with her demons, see early cover reveals and be entered in periodic giveaways.

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Spotlight – The Love Series – MJ Fields

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Spotlight on the The Love Series by MJ Fields

This is a complete series!

Blue Love is FREE

BlueLoveMJ

Blurb:

Tessa Ross tries to fight her attraction to bad boy Lucas Links. He is hot, arrogant, and has a sexual past that most boys his age could only dream of, (If they even knew they could dream of such things).

Lucas, the star quarterback seems to have it all, super star athletic abilities, expensive clothes, cars, and women who literally stop just to watch him walk by. On the outside he appears to have it all.

Tessa is a young woman who lives her life always doing what is right to make everyone else happy. She tries desperately to hold herself accountable to the demanding expectations of her family and everyone around her.

Is Tessa as innocent as she appears? Is Lucas just a spoiled young man who seems to have what every male, and female wants?

A troubled home life exposed. Past flings fight for his attention. While the only girl who Lucas ever dated connives to win him back using the only thing she knew held him to begin with. Does her desperation destroy a love he never knew existed before Tessa? A love bound not by his past or hidden secrets. A love of truth and depth. A love that knew no end regardless of tragic circumstance.

Blue Love is not your typical love story. It is a journey through your past or a story of one close to you. It’s our story.

Blue Love [FREE!]

Amazon US: http://amzn.to/1hMp7Db

Amazon UK: http://bit.ly/BlueLoveUK

Amazon CA: http://bit.ly/BlueLove_CA

Amazon AU: http://bit.ly/BlueLove_AU

Barnes & Noble: http://bit.ly/BlueLoveBN

iBooks: http://bit.ly/BlueLoveiBooks

 

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Blurb:

New Adult, College Romance.

In book two of the “Love” series, Tessa and Lucas have decided it best to be friends. But is it possible when they share a love as deep as theirs? Follow Luke as he tries to be the man he realized he wanted to become when he fell in love with Tessa. Follow Tessa as tries to stay strong for herself and Lucas through loss, life, and new love.

Highly Emotional

New Love

Amazon US: http://amzn.to/1PrY7Yb

Amazon UK: http://bit.ly/NewLoveUK

Amazon CA: http://bit.ly/NewLove_CA

Amazon AU: http://bit.ly/NewLove_AU

Barnes & Noble: http://bit.ly/NewLoveBN

iBooks: http://bit.ly/NewLoveiBooks

 

SadLoveCover

Blurb:

Book three in the “Love” series. Love had not been easy for Tessa Ross and Lucas Links. In book three of MJ Fields Love series we follow Tessa and Luke through there college years. Will they get back together or is enough finally enough?

Sad Love

Amazon US: http://amzn.to/1ZUf0yv

Amazon UK: http://tinyurl.com/sadukmj

Amazon CA: http://bit.ly/SadLove_CA

Amazon AU: http://bit.ly/SadLove_AU

Barnes & Noble: http://bit.ly/SadLoveBN

iBooks: http://tinyurl.com/sadibook

 

TrueLoveCover

Blurb:

In Book four of MJ Fields Love series, Tessa Ross has finally decided to give herself a break. A break from her forced smiles and the people she loved so that her heart could continue to heal. She needed to continue to figure out a way to stay strong which meant putting distance between her memories and of her and Lucas. Tessa returns to her families house in Cape Code a place that she always loved.

True Love

Amazon US: http://amzn.to/1GnOpD9

Amazon UK: http://tinyurl.com/trueukmj

Amazon CA: http://bit.ly/TrueLove_CA

Amazon AU: http://bit.ly/TrueLove_AU

Barnes & Noble: http://bit.ly/TrueLoveBN

iBooks: http://tinyurl.com/trueibook

 

And don’t miss out on the newest book from M.J. Fields! River James is the third book in the Rockers of Steel series and is NOW AVAILABLE!

#GETROCKED

River ecover

BUY Links:

Amazon US: http://amzn.to/1VzCOnP

Amazon UK: http://goo.gl/Y4H8U6

iBooks: https://goo.gl/6vAYa7

B&N: http://goo.gl/WSvoDu

KOBO: http://bit.ly/River_KOBO

Catch up with all of the Rockers of Steel!

Memphis Black

memphis-black

Amazon US: http://amzn.to/1NmdGxg

Amazon UK: http://bit.ly/MemphisBlackUK

Amazon AU: http://bit.ly/MemphisBlack_AU

Amazon CA: http://bit.ly/MemphisBlack_CA

iBooks: http://bit.ly/MemphisiBooks

Barnes & Noble: http://bit.ly/memphisblackmj

KOBO: https://store.kobobooks.com/en-us/ebook/memphis-9

Google: http://bit.ly/MemphisGoogle

Finn Beckett

Finn-Beckett_eCover

Amazon US: http://amzn.to/1M5kgot

Amazon UK: http://bit.ly/FinnUK

Barnes & Noble: http://bit.ly/FinnBN

iTunes:http://bit.ly/finnibooks

Kobo: http://bit.ly/FinnKOBO1

About the Author:

USA Today bestselling author M.J. Field’s love of writing was in full swing by age eight.Together with her cousins, she wrote a newsletter and sold it for ten cents to family members.

She self-published her first New Adult romance in January 2013. Today she has completed six self-published series, The Love Series, The Wrapped Series, The Burning Souls Series, The Men of Steel Series, Ties of Steel Series, and The Norfolk series.

MJ is a hybrid author who publishes an Indie book almost every month, and is signed with a traditional publisher, Loveswept, Penguin Random House, for her co-written series The Caldwell Brothers. Hendrix is available now, Morrison was released on December 22nd, 2015.

There is always something in the works, and she has three, yes, three, new series coming out this summer, and fall.

MJ lives in central New York, surrounded by family and friends. Her house is full of pets, friends, and noise ninety percent of the time, and she would have it no other way.

AUTHOR LINKS:

TWITTER | FACEBOOK |AMAZON | GOODREADS

Author Spotlight Jaye Cox

 
Author
Spotlight
Jaye Cox
Jaye Cox was born in Frankston Victoria and as a young child, she
moved to sunny Queensland. Jaye is a wife and mother to six children. While
raising her children for the last thirteen years, she decided she wanted to
pursue her love of writing, which started with her love of reading. It is the
one thing that became her break and escape of insanity of a large family.
jaye loves being a full-time mother, watching her children grow and enjoying
every minute of it.
Jaye
is an Author of heartbreakingly beautiful romance, who likes to think her
characters can relate to real life people. She hopes her books can relate to
events in our lives, that at the time we may not understand why, but one day
maybe something good can come from the situation. Jaye doesn’t just like to
think up characters, she loves to create friends and families who share a
special bond.

 

    

 

    

 

Unexpected
Consequences
 
“He is my
weakness”
“Just one look from him was enough to make me lose my resolve and do
things I usually wouldn’t. He might say he is not a good guy, if only he could
see himself the way I do. Even if being with him came with consequences.”
Isabella Preston’s life was perfect, until the day she met Rayne Hollywood. He
came into her life like a tornado – his world moved so fast that she loved it,
she felt free to be the person she really was and not the perfect person
everyone expected. Is she strong enough for everything that is Rayne
Hollywood?

“She is my strength”

“She is the reason there is light in my darkness, the strength I need to
live. Seeing myself through her eyes gives me hope, that I deserve more in
life. Finding her was unexpected.

Rayne Hollywood was set on revenge and he was ready to do anything he had to do
to get it. He didn’t care about anyone he had to hurt in the process – until he
saw Isabella Preston. She wasn’t part of the plan, but he wanted her. The only
question was could he get the revenge he came here for and still keep the girl
he always wanted?
When you fall in love so fast, is love really enough to get you through all the
secrets and lies?

Maybe love is not enough.
Can be read as a standalone.

 


 

 

Under The Surface

(Love Is Not Enough #2)

 
 
 

 

 

“I don’t trust men,
they only ever take what they want and throw you away like yesterday’s trash.
The day I met Dex was no different, until I started to let him in. He could see
ME, not the person I have become to avoid being hurt. Then I had to question everything
I thought I knew, because he was different.”

 

Traumatised and screwed up, hard ass
Ruby Sinclair never stays too long in one place, never letting anyone get too
close. Always running to the only protection she knows –her brother. But a
chance meeting with Dex, changes everything.
“My life was perfect and then one day everything changed, my whole life was
turned upside down, FOREVER. I became a shell of the man I use to be. Then Ruby
happened, she was the breath of fresh air I didn’t know I needed, or wanted.
How can letting her in feel so wrong, but so right at the same time?”

 

Dex has inner demons that torment him
constantly. It’s meant to be just for the night; the last thing he expected is
a tattooed beauty oozing sex appeal to leave him breathless. Once he’s had a
taste of her, will he be able to stop?

 

With an undeniable sexual attraction
that devours them, neither one wants more, but both don’t want anything less.

When push comes to shove, will either
of them give an inch?

 

Can he teach me to trust again?

Could she teach me to love again?They were destined to cross paths… Because sometimes when two broken people
come together, they can once again become whole.

***Can be read as a standalone. Some parts of the book do intertwine with book one
and may contain spoilers. ***

 

 

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Spotlight Tour – Heightsbound Series – Mara White

mara

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Buy Links

Fear of Heights ( Book 2)

Amazon US : http://amzn.to/1bftfZW

Amazon UK : http://amzn.to/1OsdQBw

Goodreads : http://bit.ly/1yZWv1f

Heights of Desire ( Book 1)

Amazon US : http://amzn.to/1H0JnLU

Amazon UK : http://amzn.to/1zvJAPx

B&N: http://bit.ly/1bnM0Cu

Kobo: http://bit.ly/1bnMc4B

Smashwords: http://bit.ly/1bnMf0e

Goodreads : http://bit.ly/1zvPPTu

hb2

Author Links

Facebook: http://on.fb.me/1waufHN

Twitter: http://bit.ly/1b9w7a5

Web Site: http://bit.ly/1H0KRWq

About the Author

I’m a reader, a writer, and a lover of all things romantic. I’m also a coffee, hot sauce, ink, telenovela and Bikram Yoga enthusiast. I live in New York City with my husband and two children, and I spend a lot of time on the playground.

Synopsis

What are you willing to sacrifice for love?

Your family? Your freedom? What about your life?

She’s a wealthy, forty-three-year-old Upper East Sider with a PhD – He’s a twenty-three-year-old Dominican drug dealer from Washington Heights.

Kate Champion always did exactly what was expected of her. She was the perfect wife, the perfect mother – until the day she met Jaylee Inoa.

Their journey travels a path riddled with danger, deceit, scandal and loss – where nothing is at it seems. Yet Kate and Jaylee’s passion for one another remains nearly unstoppable.

Will this daring pair of lovers from two different worlds triumph over circumstance? Can they deny the past in their quest to be together? Or is fear the ultimate navigator – a force more powerful than love?

Warning: Fear of Heights is not a standalone novel and must be read as book two in the Heightsbound series, after Heights of Desire. This book contains descriptions of: gang activity, graphic sex, violence, dubious consent, unprotected sex, infidelity, infidelity and more infidelity, questionable parenting and some dialogue in Spanish without translation.

Excerpt

But I’m strangely immune to everything in this moment except for this man, the recognition in his face—and his base and unconcealed need for me. My own desire is sweet and delicious, seeping into my bloodstream, blocking out everything else, offering me precious relief. I know I didn’t come for sex—but now I can’t remember what I came for.

All I feel is honeyed desire that promises to drown me and suffocate the hurt, and oh, how I long to be drowned! If each breath hurts, I no longer want to breathe. But if you make love to me, maybe then I can just be.

His hand slides down from my waist to the curve of my hip, signaling his intentions. He pulls me into the building, away from the street, but just a few feet from where the corner boys were gathered. He speaks to me, his voice echoing throughout the foyer and its grubby glass. He’s asking questions. I don’t bother to answer. Please. We don’t have to speak.

I register nothing but his greedy hands all over me, his mouth converging with mine. In his kiss I search deeply for some delicate connection to Jaylee. A thin thread of memory, because once, this man bore witness to our love.

“I saw you were missing on the neighborhood fliers. Now it’s your sister on the news.”

This almost pulls me out. But I won’t let it; I’m too far-gone to let go of my one single chance at oblivion.

“I don’t want you to talk to me, please. I just want you to take me. Make it hurt if you can—maybe it will help me—stop me from hurting.”

I don’t care if he thinks I’m crazy.

I look into his eyes pleadingly. His are afire but they grow distant at this. The distance signals to me that this man is in control. That’s what I want; it’s precisely what I need.

He pulls me into a small, dingy elevator and I place my hands on his shoulders and bury my face in his neck. I definitely don’t want to look at him. His hands are rough; he’s grabbing my ass, and begins biting and sucking on my neck. I want him to stop, but deep inside I’ve already given him permission. Knowing how quickly I surrendered, the victory cannot taste very sweet.

He smells so unfamiliar to me, like a complete stranger, and it spikes my adrenaline higher. His hand slips inside my pants; he brushes his fingertips along my sex, and I quake involuntarily against him. I’m ashamed of how wet I already am.

I gasp for air as soon as we leave the elevator. He pulls me down a long corridor to the very last apartment, and digs deep into his jeans pocket until he comes up with keys. He opens the door into a wide living room that smells strongly of fresh paint. There is an elderly man perched on a plastic-covered sofa, wearing only boxers and an undershirt, staring vacantly at a television.

Papá,” says the young man from the park-house, “Te va’ a morir de frío.” He quietly covers him with a faded fleece blanket from the back of the couch, tucking it around his legs to make sure it won’t slip off.

This display of compassion is too much for me; I don’t want to be this person who’s so full of need.

The old man slowly moves his gaze from the muted television screen to me and mouths the word, “Buenas,” his lower lip trembling with age.

I shouldn’t have come here.

A sob escapes me and I fall to my knees. Ideal swoops in and grabs me gruffly, lifting me like a package over his shoulder. He’s likely determined not to lose this fragile fuck that is quickly deteriorating over unforeseen events.

“Let me go!” I shout. He kicks open a door and tosses me onto a low bed, and my body bounces and jerks in weak protest.

“I don’t want you. I want to die,” I wail, swallowed by misery.

“Shut the fuck up. I remember you. I know what you need,” he answers, stripping down.

I pull my knees to my chest and look away out the window toward the fire escape. The sky is dark. The pigeons are asleep. I’m not sure I can go through with this. I don’t really know sex without love. I’ve fought to get back so many times now. It makes no sense to be seeking out places from which I can never return. Dark, dark places. Slow, slow burn.

“Hey,” he calls gently.

And I reluctantly turn my head to look at him. He’s naked and magnificent, his hard cock gripped ruthlessly in his hand. I do want his hands on me. I especially want his mouth. But I don’t know how to ask for it, and I am so incredibly ashamed. I roll onto my stomach and groan.

He reaches down and grabs me roughly underneath the armpits, pulling me until I’m kneeling on the bed, his stunning erection hot against my cheek. I press my body into his in desperation and he guides my mouth to exactly where he wants it to go.

I can lose myself in this. I can easily forget. His hands are rough, and they tug wildly in my hair. He pulls and yanks my head as he takes my mouth fast and hard. I shouldn’t like it, but I do. Something about the harshness and urgency speaks to the depths of me—it communicates with my own raw, emotional state. I suck and lave and take him as deeply as I can, trying to syphon some drop of my own pleasure from his pleasure.

This is reckless abandon. I suddenly and profoundly understand what that means.

He drags me up along his body and smashes his mouth into mine. It’s hot and foreign to me, kissing a stranger. I kiss him back with a longing that borders on pathology. I seek in the depths of this kiss some remote and ephemeral connection to Jaylee. A thin silver thread. Anything it could possibly mean to have this man bear witness to our love—to have shared it, in some way. If what he retains is no more than a momentary snapshot I’ll take it. I’ll take absolutely anything I can get.

He pulls my hair back and bites into the tender flesh of my neck, right below my ear. His hands find the clasp of my jeans and he undoes them and pushes them down to my knees. His hands capture my ass possessively and his breath comes heavy on my neck.

“Get on your stomach and stick your ass in the air,” he says.

I do as I’m told.

He doesn’t even bother with my breasts. That’s fine with me. I’m not here for romance; I am here in hopelessness. I’m here in a furious desperation, to rid myself of this need.

“You look fucking hot like that. I can’t blame Inoa for getting hooked when I see you like that.”

I flip around, almost falling because my knees are tethered together with my jeans. I sit up quickly and slam the base of my palm straight into his chin.

“Fuck!” he bellows, reeling back and gripping his chin defensively. His gaze on me intensifies. He likes the fight. His erection swells more, his desire heightened by my reaction. Then he’s on me like lightning, and I’m flailing, my arms hitting at the air as much as they’re hitting him. He crushes me down onto the mattress and pins both of my arms at my sides, my face millimeters from his.

¡Shit, Diablo, Mami! ¿Tú quiere’ o no?

“Don’t talk about him. Don’t even say his name!”

I’m crying and choking and sobbing, all the while still bucking against his body and trying to wrestle free from his weight.

Dime que tú no quiere’ y te suelto!” he says.

But I can’t tell him no, because the truth is that I do want him. I need him. And despite trying to throw him off, my hips are grinding against his, and I’m soaked with my own contemptible desire. Drowning in my own ghastly need.

I relax my body for an instant and he lays his mouth on mine. I respond all too eagerly to his kiss. I take his tongue and thrust mine just as deeply into his hungry mouth. I hate him and I want him and I hate myself for wanting him. I will destroy his body with mine.

I angrily tear away my own clothing, frantically wanting him inside me. I long to feel something—anything. I want him to fuck away the pain. Perhaps I can find some sad solace in the pure physical functioning of my own stupid body. I guide him inside me senselessly with one hand, but push him away with the other. His chest feels solid and comforting under the palm of my hand. What a contradiction—that it’s his heart that comforts me.

He’s big and deep, and he wastes no time in crushing my hips into an anxious rhythm. I keep my hand positioned firmly on his strong chest, as if the gesture could equate to some symbolic distance between us. An inch of space that represents a great emotional divide. I squeeze my eyes shut and allow this need to become my sole, minute point of focus in my universe, so saturated with loss. I’ll just allow myself to feel his body connected with my body and nothing else.

“You got a thing for Dominican guys?” he asks breathlessly, breaking my concentration and my momentary escape.

“Don’t talk!” I scream, banging my fists into his face, his neck, his shoulders, any spot I can reach. I try to wriggle my hips away from his, but his weight is crushing. Grounding.

He answers by yanking my arms above my head and kissing me fervently. I wish I didn’t want his kiss but it magically stops my thoughts from racing—the endless barrage of rumination, the regret, the pain, the philosophical bleed. I kiss him back with passion, because I know intuitively that some aspect of sex is purifying, renewing. And this is all that I seek in the contact of his flesh.

His hipbones slam into mine; he is fit and hard, offering not much in the way of padding. His mouth too smashes against mine in a violent union. His stubble tears into the tender skin on my face. All my soft flesh is ravaged by this man, my mouth, my breasts, and most of all, my sex.

“Did you want me that day?” he asks.

And again he removes me from my meditation, demanding consciousness and communication—neither of which have I any use for. I yearn only to be devoured, to be fucked into submission and silence, and possibly all the way to redemption.

“You wanted me in your mouth. You wanted to fuck us both, didn’t you?”

I answer him by rearing back and pulling away. I shove him down by the shoulders so that he lies on his back, and then I take him in my mouth, tasting my own desire that has completely saturated him. There’s the evidence. Proof of my weakness, my imperfection, my undeniable greed.

I suck him with abandon in an attempt to satisfy his wish for it to have been him coming in my mouth that day. In this contact I search for an answer to my own demise.

If it’s so bad, then why do we all want it? And what, if anything, do we receive from restraint?

“Come in my mouth,” I whisper around his swollen cock. He surprises me by pushing me away and quickly flipping me over. I oblige because I’ll do anything. Whatever he wants, he can take from me. I surrender completely, my body, my spirit, all of what’s left of me.

“I want to come in your pussy,” he says, grabbing my hips and slamming mercilessly into me from behind.

And I’ll let him come inside me.

Why?

Because I’m empty. I’m actively inviting ruin. I am taking this to the very extreme.

After he’s done he tosses a towel to me before searching for another to use on himself. Then he goes above and beyond by bringing me a baby wipe from the bathroom. This is five-star service compared to my first encounter with Jaylee. I look down between my legs and see the milky white semen leaking out of me onto his bed. I stare at it in silence. I’ve been in this mind-state before.

“¿Tú te siente’ mejor?

Like he’s a doctor providing services. He wants to know if his brand of painkiller worked.

Sí,” I nod and look up at him, wondering about the reach of what I’ve just done. It’s not the cheating on Robert—that scenario has already played out. It’s not the cheating on Jaylee—this was sex, not love. I’m a cheater, an adulteress, whatever, it’s all been said before. What scares me now is the limitlessness of my desire to do anything to be connected to Jaylee. That I just attempted to fuck the Jaylee out of a perfect stranger. That I will forever be chasing that high. I no longer recognize a breaking point, no morals, no bounds.

Ven, te acompaño a casa,” he says, placing a humid hand on my shoulder.

Despite our sudden intimacy, it’s still the hand of a stranger.

“No!” I bat it off and rise to my feet. I don’t need to be walked home as some pathetic compensation for sexual favors. He did me the favor. I wasn’t coerced into doing what I’ve done. I pull my clothes on over my naked body, leaving my now-tainted bra on his bed and my underwear on the floor.

“It looks better if we leave together, Kate. Believe me, you don’t want to walk by those guys alone.”

“What’s your real name?” I ask him, ignoring his attempt to defend my virtue.

“Everybody call me Ideal.”

Why do our paths keep intersecting? He must have known that it was me from the beginning when we were talking on the phone. I had no idea who he was. I wonder if I would have handled myself differently had I known.

“Did—did you like that?” I ask him tentatively.

He appears to be examining dry skin on his elbow, but what I think he’s actually aiming at is flexing his bicep for me.

“What?” he asks absentmindedly. “My name—or fucking you just now?”

I widen my eyes at him in response.

“Yeah, I liked it.” He shrugs.

“Want to do it again?’

“What? Like right this second?” He’s startled at the idea that I might demand an immediate erection—another round so soon after the knockout.

“No, not right now, but whenever you want to.”

“I thought you were all hung up on Inoa and shit. But yeah, whatever, I’ll call you.”

Booty-call me. “I don’t expect a relationship, Ideal. This is purely business. But I do need help finding my sister. Someone on the inside, who the cops don’t know. Someone who knows the neighborhood and what’s really going on.” And, if I’m being honest, I need help just surviving, and you’re an easy way for me to get out of my head.

The way he crosses his arms and looks down at me makes me think he knows something. Then he sighs and lifts his two perfectly arched eyebrows at me. He reaches out his hands to me almost affectionately, and I take them. He pulls me up to standing, and keeping my left hand grasped in his right, he shakes it firmly.

“You fucking crazy, you know that? For real. But yeah, you got yourself a deal.”

FLIRTYSUBSPR